Tag: family

My daughter and I spend a lot of time together.

Harry Chapin: Cats in the Cradle

Sometimes, making time for my daughter, means putting things I enjoy doing on hold. I’m fine with that…

One of my pleasures has always been gaming. These days, I’m not doing that, since it takes too much time. I usually have gaming time during the cooler months, when I’m not as busy. My daughter is in school, and if my clients work is completed, I’ll play games for an hour, sometimes two.

When my daughter is around the free time I have is usually spent hanging with her. Being that I’m an early riser (usually up by 3:30 or 4:00) I use that to my advantage and work on my clients projects. I do the same, after she goes to sleep in the evenings. In doing so, it means I have time to spend with her when she awakens. This is especially important since she’s now off for summer break.

I ask my daughter a lot of questions, listen to what she has to say, and tell her often she can tell me anything. While I might not always agree with her choices, I’ll always be there to listen, keep my mouth shut, and think before I respond.  Sometimes she tells me things that I don’t want to hear and on occasion, some of those things involve me, ouch! But when I think about what she says, most of the time I realize she has every right to feel that way, I apologize, and I work on ways to make improvements. Parents aren’t perfect, its important to apologize when we do something wrong. Children remember, as a child, I know I did…

No time for you

When I worked in the corporate world, one of my bosses (that I reported directly too) was the executive vice-president of four divisions. Her children didn’t have time for her. They were grown, living their own lives, and rarely included her. They tossed her in the “I’m too busy for you corner.” It hurt her, since she desperately wanted a relationship with them.

It was kind of sad, but she did create the situation. When her children were young, the sacrifices she made, usually meant less time with her family. She’d told me, that looking back she wished she did things a bit differently.

Occasionally I think about her, and wonder if her children gave her a chance to become part of their lives. Sometimes adult children hold on to past hurts; and while we might be justified in doing so. It’s certainly not helping us heal (emotionally).

Parents aren’t the only ones guilty of not having enough time. Anyone can, if they’re not careful. It’s important to make time for those we care about.

Cats in the Cradle; Did you know

Cats in the cradle, is one of my favorite songs by Harry Chapin. I liked this video since it showed a clip of his wife, she wrote the poem, and their son Josh. His wife said, Harry made an effort to put her poem to music after their son was born; a smart move since that was an extremely popular song. Harry was killed in a car accident when he was thirty-eight years old.

Harry Chapin: Cats in the Cradle

My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin’ ‘fore I knew it, and as he grew
He’d say “I’m gonna be like you dad
You know I’m gonna be like you”

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin’ home dad?
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then son
You know we’ll have a good time then

My son turned ten just the other day
He said, “Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let’s play
Can you teach me to throw”, I said “Not today
I got a lot to do”, he said, “That’s ok”
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, “I’m gonna be like him, yeah
You know I’m gonna be like him”

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin’ home son?
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then son
You know we’ll have a good time then

Well, he came home from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
“Son, I’m proud of you, can you sit for a while?”
He shook his head and said with a smile
“What I’d really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?”

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin’ home son?
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then son
You know we’ll have a good time then

I’ve long since retired, my son’s moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, “I’d like to see you if you don’t mind”
He said, “I’d love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job’s a hassle and kids have the flu
But it’s sure nice talking to you, Dad
It’s been sure nice talking to you”

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He’d grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin’ home son?
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then dad
You know we’ll have a good time then

My brother and I didn’t watch television (in our house) until we were teenagers, my parents thought it was more important to improve our minds in other ways, education, crafts, exercise, thinking out of the box….

Even so, I still have fond memories of some of the commercials I saw when visiting family. Here’s one of my favorite from 1977…

Technology has changed a lot since that time, hasn’t it?

Today is different, I do a lot with technology. That’s my work, so I really have no choice. Knowing its importance I made sure my nine-year old daughter was prepared. And so I introduced her to computers when she was about two or three years of age. Computers were required in her kindergarten school, and she went to school knowing how to operate one.

While I recognize the importance of technology, and introduce her to things that will be helpful, I also recognize the importance of stepping away from it and interacting with her away from other distractions. I  think it’s important to have that face time, so she’s not talking to the back of my head while my butt  is planted in front of the computer, you know? Knowing that she’s my top priority, It’s important to treat her that way. I don’t want any “what ifs” in my life… I do enjoy my 1:1 time with her, and technology regardless of how awesome… can’t beat that interaction.

A few weeks ago, while commenting on one suituapui’s post, I really enjoy reading his posts the food he shares looks delicious, and I enjoy reading the occasional posts about his daughter. It’s nice to see other parents taking time for their children and it’s obvious that they are friends too.

Anyway, in one of my comments, I told him that I felt encouraged… When chatting with a lady who has four girls; teenager, nine-year old, five-year old, two-year old, and another on the way. She told me… “If your daughter loves to hang out with you now, she most likely will still enjoy tons of interaction with you as she gets older.” Just make sure you make the time for her, without all the extra technology crap. My response, “But of course, I do that now!

Ok, so I’m off topic, this post was just supposed to be about a vintage television commercial…. 😉

My daughter has been looking forward to this day, it being the 6th annual Boumi Carnival. It’s the first Boumi Carnival that we’ve been too.

I was a bit leery taking her to another carnival, since I was still thinking about her unpleasant carnival experience when she was six years old.

She’s definitely not the thrill seeker  that I was at that age, I could share some crazy stunts I pulled just for the “rush” when I was nine-years old. No, my parents didn’t know about it at the time. I would sneak off and do them; Very hard to do under my mother’s eagle eyes. She was a stay at home mom, until my brother, and I was in our early teens; I was 15 he was 14.

But even with the prior carnival apprehensions, last week I went to the Boumi Shine, and bought advanced tickets. They were $10 off each ticket, which meant I was paying $10 per ticket, and  that purchase granted us an armband which allowed us to have unlimited rides. Yippee!

I don’t even want to know how much an armband purchase was at the door, since today I saw $20.00 only granted you about 35 tickets? 

I must say my daughter has improved with the rides; she loved them! And since we arrived as soon as it opened, we could get on anything she wanted.I still had to talk soothingly to her during the pirate ship type ride. She closed her eyes most of the time, and told me I was a nut to think this ride was “fine” she being way off the ground and all, but I’ll take that over screaming any day… yeah that’s what she did last time. Much to my surprise, she wanted to get on the Sea Ray (pirate ship type ride again).

I did purchase the obligatory stuffed animal. You know the type… toss a hoop, fish for stuff, shoot a water gun at a target, and be awarded a dollar store animal for an exorbitant fee. I’m not bitter, honestly. More important my daughter had a great time, and we went on almost all the rides at the carnival. I couldn’t talk her into getting on rides she deemed “too scary”… sighs… perhaps as she gets older she’ll be more like her thrill seeking momma? I still have images of us skydiving together after all. It’s one of the extreme sports that I’ve put on hold  since she’s been born.

The bottom line, my daughter had a blast at the 6th annual Boumi Carnival, but I’m wiped out. But to be fair, I wasn’t feeling the greatest today, but today being the last day of the carnival there was no way I was going to cancel on her. Tomorrow is another day, and after church, I’m not doing too much besides hanging out with her… and resting.

The school nurse called (twice) today but I didn’t hear the phone ring. I was too busy sleeping.

More on why I was sleeping later…

It appears my daughter was throwing up in school, most likely a stomach virus, and so she was sent to the nurses office. My daughter’s now at home. As soon as I received the message, I was out the door to pick her up from our Lutheran school. It doesn’t appear to be major. I’ve seen this before, but the nurse wants her to stay home tomorrow, and she will.

Sleeping the day away

Admittedly, it’s not something I have the luxury to do, and I rarely need a nap, but today I did, since I didn’t get much sleep last night…

Why?  Today’s the day, when I volunteer at the homeless shelter. I enjoy this ministry offered by our Lutheran church, and thus far, since attending the church, I’ve been able to volunteer every month. It’s a great chance to interact with those whom I’m serving breakfast too, but more on my homeless shelter experience in a later post.

My internal alarm…

I’m usually awake by 4:00, it’s just how I’m wired, but if my mind knows I have to be somewhere early; it will keep ‘waking me’ every hour (after I’ve gone to sleep) so I won’t oversleep.  You get the picture? Since my mind knew I had to be somewhere by 5:15, it triggered my body to wake up early. So no…  I didn’t get a lot of sleep.

In hindsight, I should have had the phone by my bedside, but it was downstairs where I couldn’t hear, it. Since I couldn’t hear it, I didn’t even hear the phone ring. <sighs>

I feel terrible that I missed the call

I slept only an hour, but I still feel awful that I missed those two calls, but I was at the school, ten minutes after I got that message.

I’ll be working on my client’s projects after she sleeps, and in the wee hours of morning? In doing so, I can spend most of my time with her tomorrow.